


I Do Not Fear It: I Have Been There

by Zucheenee



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Drabble Sequence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 11:53:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1549580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zucheenee/pseuds/Zucheenee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Shepard thinks that Victus needs to loosen up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There was something about Victus that Shepard couldn’t place her finger on. Maybe it was how he walked: confident yet afraid of holding so much power over the Turian’s future. That was something she could connect to; there was a way you had to appear to inspire confidence and yet… Yet there was a place inside where you would realize that people’s lives hung in the balance. It was a special kind of hell to be so powerful and so damn insignificant in the large scale of things. What was a few Turian or human lives compared to the mass scale? What did it matter the agony that their death would cause to the people who loved them?

Then again, maybe it was his eyes. He had this habit of looking sad when he thought people couldn’t see him. He would look down at his work and sigh, pinching one brow with his fingers. He would look around cautiously and then he would sigh once more before going back to work. Shepard loved observing the way he worked, thought that it was fascinating. She could sit for hours to watch him sigh and look oh so bored and so undignified. He would even look vindicated that he was on a human ship, on Shepard’s ship and that, to Shepard’s great amusement, would cause him to sigh some more but in a different tone. This was how Shepard passed the time the week before he told her about the bomb.

“If there’s something new for me to tell you, then I would send you a message.” He said for the umpteenth time that day. “Trust me, there is nothing interesting here, shouldn’t you be doing something of galactic importance?”

“This is something of galactic importance.” She assured him, walking up beside him and smirking. “It’s called: ways to annoy my favorite Turian.”

“Favorite? I thought that title belonged to Garrus?”

“Oh no, he’s my best Turian. Favorite Turian is something entirely different.” She whispered conspiratorially to him, waggling her eyebrows at him.

“I see, thank you for informing me on this matter of galactic importance.”

“What is with you and galactic importance? You should loosen up, let’s get a drink tonight.”

“Don’t you think you should be more serious? There’s a war going on and you want to get a drink.” He said skeptically.

“Everyone needs a break, Victus, trust me on this one, I’ve been saving the galaxy since you were just a wee little Captain.” She smirked at him and he rolled his eyes at him.  
“Fine, where are we going?”

“Probably Flux or Purgatory, what do you think?”

“Flux is classier, I’ve heard.”

“Then Flux it is, meet me there at seven.” She told him, mock saluting him and swaggering away from the console as best she could without making a fool of herself. She could feel his eyes watching her and smirked in victory. She was going to squeal into her pillow, but that could wait until later.


	2. Chapter 2

“So, this is your idea of relaxing.” Victus said, looking at Shepard with an expression like: oh god why did I agree to this?

“Precisely,” she winked at him and he blinked in response. “Come on, let’s get a drink.” She fidgeted with her leather jacket as she approached the counter. “I’ll have a Moscow mule. What will you have Victus?”

“Just some whiskey for me,” he told the bartender; he nodded and mixed Shepard’s drink in front of them. She took it when he was done and he poured Victus some whiskey. Shepard handed him some credits and her and Victus went off to find a table. They found a reclusive on in the corner, right next to the window. Victus stared out the window, sipping his whiskey as Shepard blew some bubbles into her drink with a straw, giggling. Victus looked back at her skeptically. “What are you doing?”

“It’s a matter of galactic importance,” she winked at him. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” he offered, leaning in to put his head on his hands.

“Just blowing bubbles in my drink Victus,” she told him. “Also watching you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, you’re strange, you know that right?”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“You carry yourself like a hero and yet you hold so many burdens on your shoulders.” She explained. “I know how that feels.”

“I see,” he said, not entirely convinced. “Are you sure you’re not just projecting?”

“I’m super sure, you need to loosen up.”

“So you’ve said.” He took a sip of his whiskey. “How would you suggest I do that?”

“Now you’re talking!” She took a drink of the ginger ale and vodka. “Well, let’s finish our drinks and then we’re heading over to the dance floor.” Shepard drank hers quickly, motioning for Victus to do the same. “You never know if they’ll be here when you get back!” She told him, talking loudly over the music. She grabbed his hand and tugged him over to the dance floor. He looked down at their hands in surprise but didn’t say anything. She let him go and started dancing, rather badly in fact. He looked at her, laughing his ass off but Shepard ignored him. “Dance with me!” 

“I don’t know how.”

“You don’t have to!”

“I can see that.”

She nudged him and he started swaying from side to side. Shepard laughed and took his hands, swaying with him. Victus put one his hands on her hip. Shepard put her arm around his neck. She took the other hand in hers and they swayed from side to side.

“Spin me!” 

He shook his head at her request.

“Please?” She gave him her best puppy eyes and he relented. He spun her around once and then they swayed again as she giggled. “I knew you couldn’t resist the puppy eyes!” She smirked triumphantly and he rolled his eyes at her. As they danced they got closer until they were chest to chest and eventually Shepard laid her head against his chest. “Let’s go back to the ship.” He followed her. When they got back he followed Shepard to her cabin.

“You know, Shepard, I don’t even know your first name.”

“It’s Jane,” she shrugged. “I never thought it was important, it’s a very common name.”

“But it’s still yours.” He said.

“Reluctantly it is,” she murmured as she opened the door to the cabin. “I had a good time tonight.” She said, turning around.

“I did too, let’s do it again sometime.”

“It’s a promise.” She mock saluted him and her breath got caught in her throat when he leaned forward, their foreheads against each other. She tilted her head to the side and kissed his cheek. He blinked in surprise as she backed up a few steps, smirking and closing her cabin door. The look on his face as she closed the door was priceless, she thought, she was definitely going to have to do this again.


	3. Chapter 3

One week later

"Primarch, it's my fault." She said, not able to use his name. "I could have stopped him somehow..."

“His sacrifice will be recorded in the histories of the Ninth Platoon; something any father would be proud of.” He said, his stature and tone disguising his pain but Shepard could see it clear in his eyes. She didn’t ask him to get a drink that weekend. That night, she was reading in her cabin when there was a knock on the door. She opened it to see Victus standing outside.

“Victus? What’s going on, what are you doing here?”

“It’s a matter of galactic importance, you wouldn’t understand.”

“I see,” she relaxed only a little bit to let him in. He walked past her and the cabin door closed behind him. “Make yourself at home.”

“Thank you.” He found a seat on the edge of her bed and Shepard sat beside him. She covered his hand with hers and he looked at her. “What do you do after something like this?” Pain was clear in his voice.

“You grieve and realize that only time will heal a wound this big.” She encouraged him. “Then, as hard as it may be, move on. But only when you’re good and ready.” She looked away from him.

“Speaking from personal experience?”

“I lost an LT, I know it’s not the same as a son but it is painful all the same.”

“An LT?”

“Kaidan Alenko,” she explained. “We were close.”

“Ah, I see. You were involved.”

“He wasn’t supposed to die.” She said simply. “We were going to settle down, he said. He was… He was a great guy. He didn’t deserve what happened to him.”

“Isn’t that how it always goes?”

“Yeah, you’re right.” 

He squeezed her hand.

“Jane, in private, you could call me Adrien.”

“Is that so?” She smirked at him. “Then I’ll take advantage of that, Adrien.”

“Somehow, I knew that’s what you would say.” He scooted closer to her until their legs were touching, their entwined hands on their legs. Shepard turned to him, just looking at him. “What?” He asked, looking at her. She leaned in close pressing her lips against his mouth. She kissed him quickly, blushing as she pulled away. “If you wanted me, all you had to do was ask.”

“It was that simple?” She groaned. “I could have forgone all those drink nights at Flux? You must be kidding.”

“So you were wooing me.”

“Yes, I was totally seducing you with drinks and dance.” She laughed. 

“I see,” he laughed. “Well that is an amusing discovery I might just…”

“Don’t you dare tell Garrus that I’ve been pining after you.” She threatened. “I will end you.”

“In a sexy way?” He winked and she groaned.

“You are insufferable!” She laughed, almost cackling.

“Jane,” he said in a suddenly soft tone. “Come here.” He let go of her hand, lying down on the bed. She looked at him skeptically until he motioned again to her. She laid her head on his chest and he put his arm around her. 

“Adrien, you must think me a fool.”

“On the contrary,” he said, “I think that you are a brave and beautiful woman.” 

She smirked at his comment and closed her eyes, sighing contentedly. Tomorrow, Victus would have a lot to face from the galaxy, even more to face within himself. But, tonight, they had each other and that would have to be enough.


End file.
